Once upon a time...

What happens when you can't keep track of a real diary.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Kelly left today.
She was deployed to Iraq.
I went to her home last night and picked up the furniture that we bought right before the divorce.
We talked politely.
I gave her a hug and told her that she would be fine. I've always had confidence in her ability to take care of herself.
I said some words to her parents as I left. (Yeah, I'm fine, still working. Yes, I'm fine, goodbye)
I didn't hurt.
I didn't feel empty.
I didn't want to crawl away and hide.
It all felt so ... matter of fact. Like much of our marriage and divorce. "This is how it is. It is neither good nor bad, it simply is"
After I got in the Uhaul and drove away, I started to feel a little choked up. Perhaps it was just another piece of finality to it all, but I don't really know. After a few deep breaths and surruptitiously wiping away a silent tear or two, I was fine. Someone else was dominating my thoughts, and I think that is positive. From what I know of my own psyche, I believe that bodes well for the potential there. Maybe it will work.

I hope so.

I found out she's an angel.
I don't think she knows I know.
I'm worried that something might happen to me
If anyone ever finds out.

Why, why did they send her over anyone else
How should I react?
These things happen to other people.
They don't happen at all, in fact.

When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building?
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead,
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things.

excerpt: She's an Angel - They Might Be Giants

... just one of those things, I suppose.